Five Things Men Should Avoid on a First Date
By Axter
Five Things Men Should Avoid On A First Date
1) Don't masturbate at the dinner table. Women love a guy who's confident about his sexuality, and she's dying to know what he's packing, but exposing yourself in public and dropping a load of sperm in her gazpacho is bound to raise a red flag. Save it for your second date.
2) Wait until you're naked to find out if her honeybox stinks. The biggest worry among men 18 - 68 when dating a woman for the first time is:Ê will her honeybox smell good? Trust me guys, find out for yourselves by tearing off her panties and sticking your nose in her crotch. If you ask her to her face, you're done.
3) Girls hate farting!!!! You can get away with a burp or two on your first date, provided you don't exaggerate it to make it sound like an Amazon tree frog, but farting in her presenc, especially on your first date, will guarantee you don't get a second one. No matter if it's heard or smelled, you just wrote your ticket to pornsville.
4) If you need to spit, don't spit in her face. Girls know guys spit. All the time. It's sexy like baseball. But spit on the floor or in your hand. Never spit in her face. She finds it "insulting".
5) Make sure she wants to have sex with you. Rape is illegal! No mean yes mean no means yes blah blah blah. It's confusing. Girls are liars and they're more horny than we are. So yes, there's no way to tell whether the fact that she's screaming means you shouldn't force yourself on her. But unfortunately, Johnny Law has decreed that if the little Miss wants to send you to jail after you nail her unmerciful, that's just what will happen. So you have to figure out how to nail the girl that won't call the law on you.
Good luck!! And always remember: Use Your Common Sense and No Unwanted Bad Touch!
Axter is currently on a date. For more tips on relationships peep Talking with Trina and other hits in the Archive.